I have always wanted to talk about loss. We are no stranger to loss. I believe all of us lose something before at some point of your life.
Sometimes, loss are temporary and unfortunately, sometimes, loss are permanent.
It could be something important to you. Or even someone.
The pain of losing someone, it could be a family member, a friend, or a lover through a break up/row is comparable to losing someone through death.
When you lose someone to death, even though you are living without them, you still have the love they left behind. Even though you lose someone you love to death, you gain an angel you know.
However when you lose someone through a row/break up, that even though they are alive but you will no longer take part in each other’s life, it makes it feels a lot worst.
The fact of the matter is that in a relationship, breakups are this hard because they are the death of something that was precious to you.
The emotions and the pain you're experiencing right now are feelings of loss, and can be compared to grief.
We can’t prevent loss in life, as it is a part and parcel of life, but we could prepare for it.
We have coping mechanism to deal with this, yet we have to make sure that it is constructive and will not be detrimental to your physical well-being.
If you are suffering with loss right now, or sense that you might suffer with loss in a new future, it is good to plan ahead. Starting now, I invite you to take a pen and a piece of paper and write down 5 things you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to try in your town. It can be something like rock climbing, whale watching, yoga, painting, trying out that new restaurant that opened, etc.
Over the course of the next 5 weeks, do one of these things each week.
Having a goal in mind, whether it is big or small, will help you to get out of this current funk, and it will give you something to work towards. Make sure that the things you are doing right now will get you closer to your goals, and not farther away.
Make sure that you are making your own wellbeing a priority. Yes, you have the right to be hurt, yes you have the right to be angry and upset, but do your part to make it easier on yourself.
Please screenshot these worksheet if you find it helpful. I have also attached the PDF version for you if you want to print it.
No matter what happen, remember that you are not alone, and my words and paintings will always be here for you.
Take good care of yourself~ I have attached the Grief and Loss Coping Self Care Work sheet.
愿天下再无不公，有情人终成眷属
Additional resources on what is Grief adapted from here:
What is grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief, including:
Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
A miscarriage
Retirement
Death of a pet
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
Loss of safety after a trauma
Selling the family home
Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs.
Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing.
Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.
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